I started writing a new blog post Saturday morning, but the words just wouldn't come out. I prayed and as I tried to work amidst the pleadings of a 4 year old with a seemingly bottomless abyss of a stomach and my step-dog trying to burglar a loaf of bread off of my kitchen counter, I realized that it just wasn't the right time (we will revisit Cami and her wayward antics of breaking and entering some other time, there is a lot of Christ-like love to be had when it comes to living with toddlers and black labs, trust me on this). Anyhow, back to trying to write this; there is one thing that I can't do. Pretend. I am horribly, terribly, stinking bad at it. I could've posted a bunch of fluff and wit just to put some substance out there, but when you're a true Gospel Girl, The Holy Spirit will fill you with thoughts like "quality, not quantity" and "make it count". Cliché, I know, but He knows our hearts and I am a cheesy, cliché loving girl. My favorite of all time you ask? Actions speak louder than words. In scriptural terms, "Faith without works is dead"(James 2:17).
I used to have a big thing for motivational speakers, spent countless hours listening to people in hopes that one might breathe a word that made sense to me. One finally did, He spoke a promise over me, "I will heal you". The first time I ever knew without a doubt that God spoke to me was like having my soul jump started. It sparked a hunger in me that has grown to ravenous in time, but to have that moment, that defining moment where my loving Father spoke words of healing over my life; I've never received anything more precious. Here is something that we all need to understand though, God's timing is perfect. Hard to grasp in our, "app" driven society, hard to understand when our human nature is so Veruca Salt like, "I want it now". If you don't know who Veruca Salt is or have never seen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, shame on you. Everyone needs oompa loompas in their lives, they were the original minions after all.
The day after God spoke to me, my life didn't miraculously change. No, it took years to get to the place I am in now (and I'm still growing, I hope I never stop and just bust out like a can of biscuits)and I'm not saying that it will take years for anyone else, I have seen Him turn someone's life around overnight. I was a late bloomer in my faith. Mule-headed and misguided, I am one of those who had to be brought to my knees, it is after all, the place where we find Him the easiest. Our most broken state. We just have to believe that whatever He brings us to, He will bring us through and your life is exactly as He wills. Right now. Hard to understand? Good, that means you have a brain. Let me urge you to use it for just a few more minutes and riddle me this, Where have you seen God, undeniably? What is the one thing that makes you all wide-eyed with awe and makes you wonder how such a thing ever came to pass? Whatever it is, God did that. Just saying. He will do it for you too, whatever He knows you need, have faith.
Now about those motivational speakers, I have one living in me now and I have to admit, its darn cool. To be able to tap in to the Holy Spirit and hear, "I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners" (Mark 2:17) and know that those words were meant not just for me, but for anyone reading them. Those words remind me that all of the time I spent thinking that I wasn't "good enough" to be a Christian was just the devil sitting on my shoulder, whispering doubt into my heart. He's been knocked off, by the way. "The devil will put some of you in prison to test you and you will suffer persecutions for ten days. Be faithful even to the point of death and I will give you the crown of life" (Revelation 2:10). It can get scary talking about satan, but the greatest trick he's ever tried to play is to convince the world he doesn't exist. Don't fall for that. Keep your eyes focused on things above, our Wonderful Maker is so real that even demons tremble at His name. King Jesus, sitting at the right hand of God will make our enemies his footstool (paraphrased Psalm 110:1). Don't let doubt, discouragement and disbelief keep you from God's promises, learn to hear the Holy Spirit. Read scripture daily, there is a very real and palpable power in His word. Abandon it all to Jesus, leave behind what gets in your way of hearing His loving message. Listen with intent and what you'll find is a best friend who will tell you when those pants make you look fat or when someone really isn't that into you. Okay, not literally but you will find truth. The Holy Spirit will always speak truth to you and lead you to the grace you may think you don't deserve. Accept it. You will become the salt of the Earth. Sacrificing what you want right now for what you want most will become easier than you could ever imagine. "Whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God." John 3:21
Father, thank you for your unconditional love, your never ending mercy and grace that I do not deserve. Let me be a light, use me up and let someone's heart be touched by these words today. In Your Holy Name I Pray, amen.
Love Never Fails
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