Chocolate Covered Repentance

When words come out of our mouths, they take on a life of their own. Funny how a combination of letters and sounds, consonants and vowels can hold so much power. They can be twisted, manipulated and emphasized to either do harm or good. Too often I find myself marveling at how my sarcasm doesn't translate so well via text message. Or how a comment made from the best parts of my heart could carry a barb that stings the ears it falls on. Intentional or not, I find these moments to be among the most uncomfortable and I will mourn the inflicted until my heart bursts. Why am I so sensitive about this? Because I know who I am. I know the strongest gift God blessed me with. Mercy. And I am an encourager. It is my weapon of choice against that delusional dragon. Jesus did say that "out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks"(Matthew 12:34). If my heart is overflowing with love, grace and mercy, so will my lips to encourage. Why?

The word encourage has a secret. 

It has courage in it. Literally. 

Courage is what knights mustered up to save damsels in distress. Courage is what John Wayne described as "being scared to death, but saddling up anyways". Courage is the very strength Jesus bore that cross on His battered flesh with. Because He had faith that God knew the best and only way to save our bleak souls from the death we brought upon ourselves named "sin". 

When Jesus rolled a stone away from a borrowed tomb, He filled us with the courage to look evil in the eye and say, "where's your sting?". Have you read the High Priestly Prayer lately? Hours before Jesus died, He petitioned God to keep believers safe from the evil one. As Jesus faced death, He interceded to our Heavenly Father to protect us from sin AND that the very love God has for Him be in us. 

Yet, we barely have the courage to give up chocolate for 40 days. If that stung, I apologize.  I encourage you to go a little deeper and understand that Lent isn't about finding some trivial thing to "sacrifice" so you can joke about it with your friends. Lent is a season of reflection on our weakness and dependence on the Almighty God. It is a way to fast from our insecurities and feast on Grace. Engorge ourselves with truth and the ability to bravely call upon our Abba Father to forgive our ever wicked flesh. Think your flesh isn't wicked? Repent of pride then and swallow it down. Follow it up with a huge gulp love He will pour down for doing so. 

Lent has me studying love. Repentance. Resurrection. Not because I want to know about Jesus. I want to know Jesus. I want to know that when I open my mouth, I am saying what He is saying. Let me have the courage to announce the victory of my Savior by the way I love others. Because sometimes it is so much more than what you say, often it is how you love them. How much grace you have for them in their messiest moments, the mercy you show when they want to look away in shame. The gentle touch of fellowship and the simple acknowledgement that while we are imperfect, we can look to Christ who is perfect.

Announce the victory by acknowledging your failures and turning away from them and by not rubbing someone else's nose in their own. Shout it with the kind word you use to build someone up when they least expect it. Sing it at the top of your lungs by smiling at a stranger who looks like they can use a little courage. Be all there with the people you love, all the time. Have the courage to turn down the distractions, walk away from the argument or repair a relationship that never should have come undone. 

More than anything, have the courage to trust in the very God who brought you to life. Even if you can't see the light right now, do not stop being it. Draw your sword and encourage yourself, your family, your friends, your co-workers, your enemies and your world by the way you love. Think you can't make a difference? Have the courage to tell that thought to go back to the hell it came from. Jesus Christ didn't rise from the grave so you could live in defeat. Whatever it is you might be facing, I'm going to ask you to speak to it. Tell it this, "This time, I trust in the Lord". You won't be forsaken. You won't be let down. You will announce the victory you've been praying for and all of Heaven will rejoice with you. 

My identity is firmly rooted in faith. Even if my mouth gets me into trouble, I can rest assured that my heart is what God is interested in.  It is a heart convicted to serve Him, because complacency just doesn't taste good anymore. Not since I learned who I am. 

I am Heaven's Daughter. Courageous and dangerous with a sword of truth. 

If you aren't sure of who you are, I encourage you to find out, too. In the meantime, read this;

"For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons by whom we cry "Abba Father!" The Spirit itself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God." Romans 8:14-16

His word is alive and so am I. 

Love covers a multitude of sins. 

The Greatest of These

Have you ever held a diamond up and shined a light through it? It casts a myriad of rainbow colored hues in so many different directions that it is impossible to contain all of the beams. This effect, is a multiplication of light in a broad spectrum of colors. Quite a miracle if you ask me. This is exactly what happens when Jesus pours His love into us. It is true, when Jesus puts His light in us, it comes out in vibrant ways and scatters in so many different directions that it leaves satan's head spinning. This is why love is the greatest of all things. This is why love is our most lethal weapon to plunder hell with. I wonder if Hallmark will ever put that on a Valentine's Day card? "Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd love nothing more than to plunder hell with you". Now, THAT is romance! Those hues, bouncing off of everything, can color the darkest places and make them beautiful. That is what love has done for me, at least. Is that more romantic?

Today, as we all know, is Valentine's Day. This, is going to be a mushy post. Don't say I didn't warn you. 

If you've read my previous blog posts, you know that I love God, my Father, with all of my mind, heart and soul. What I haven't mentioned much of is the gift of love He put in my life in the form of my one and only. You see, a couple of years ago, I bumped into this guy who lives across the street from me and nothing has ever been the same. Only a Father as loving as The One who rules the heavens could know that he'd be exactly the one to love me in a way that would break down the fortress around my heart. He is steadfast in a way I have never known. I've thrown my best tantrums, had my worst meltdowns, failed and triumphed and all along the way, he's never left my side. He's seen the worst of me and loved me in those moments. He has seen the best of me and encouraged me to go even further. There have been times when I have made it difficult to love me and he was merciful, dug in and loved me even harder. My insecurities have become easier and easier to leave behind because of who my sweetie is. A man who loves the Lord. A man with an earnest and loyal heart who wants nothing less than God's best for me. A man who chooses to not only love me, but to love and care for my children as well. He doesn't have to, but every single day he looks after all of our needs, never once worrying about whether or not it is his repsonsibility to. The most humbling thing I can acknowledge though is this:

He loved us when we were the least of these, so that I could experience the greates of these. Before I turned my heart over to Christ, before I was Gospel Girl, there he was loving me and my children. When I had nothing to give, he didn't try to take anything from me. When I couldn't find anything good in me, he still saw it. When I was standing on the ledge, he talked me down. He helped me find my faith and walked me into the church where I found my home. He has shown me what hope looks like and continues to help my build my dream.. And the greatest of these? This is the kind of love that endures all things. The kind that wakes up and chooses to do it all over again no matter what. And every day, I choose him.

Happy Valentine's Day, sweetie. 

Father, the gift of love you have given me in Brad is exceedingly beyond anything I could have ever asked for. Thank you for loving me enough to bring me to the one person who would shine Your light so brightly into our lives, I praise you for Your wisdom and Sovereign hand in our lives. Please continue to bless us as we walk towards you together and lead our children towards your Kingdom. Also, his eyes will always be my favorite shade of blue, you did a great thing there! In Jesus Name, Amen. 

White Hot Redemption

I've been fumbling around, doing this "living" thing and part of that meant letting God be God while I attempted to heal from some chasm-like wounds. Part of that meant stepping away from blogging for awhile and diving head first into my past to confront some uncomfortable monsters who had been living under the bed.

The result? I stand here, intact, sword in hand and wearing a humble smile of victory. My Father showed up and reminded me Who I belong to and that monsters under the bed are His specialty. I'm stronger, which in turn has made me more vulnerable. I'm a warrior, which in turn has made me more peaceful. I'm forgiven, which in turn has made me more forgiving. Most importantly, I am chosen. I haven't quite figured out what all that entails yet, BUT and this is a big BUT, I feel called to something with such a ferocity that I know He has it all figured out and the details will work themselves out. There is one thing that I wanted to share though, it is equal parts humorous and sad but I feel convicted to put it out there, nonetheless.

I got really, really angry at everything and everyone before I was able to slay those monsters. Including God. Shouting at God in my closet was a low point until I tried shouting at God in the shower, in the car, on the couch...on a retreat. You get the picture. I was an angry girl, probably scared a few folks and even got annointed once in the process (I think they were afraid I was going to start shouting at them next). I didn't want to do it, but I had to get down into a pit and look those things in the eye to answer questions that I'd been allowing to burn in me for far too long. I found that the biggest sin that engulfed my life was this; I didn't trust God. I'd learned a dangerous habit, I guarded against hope with a singularly destructive thought, "God is against me". Somewhere along the way, I'd been lulled into that lie and accepted it, while rejecting myself. I rejected everything about myself and was angry that God made me the way I am. Never once did I stop to consider any of this was a lie. It just felt too natural to accept that I was wrong, made unlovable and condemned to a life of bitter struggle and a voice in my head repeated this shouting soundtrack of shame and hopelessness around the clock. Now imagine the moment in the pit when I looked the monster in the eyes and realized the shouting voice belonged to it. It wanted me to reject myself so I would reject God, you cannot commit one without the other. Imagine the moment I realized the sound of my Savior's voice whispering very closely, waiting to be heard all along. Whispering everything I had been thirsting to hear my entire life, "You are so loved, adored, treasured. You don't have to do anything, just be here with Me." All my life, I've been "doing", "trying", "wanting" and all it really takes is to be in His presence. To seek His voice.

White hot at the lies of the monster you'll never be enough. White hot at the ruin your life is such a mess. White hot anger poured out of my core THIS TIME, I TRUST IN THE LORD! 

My anger didn't have a language to explain itself. My anger shifted. My anger was finally aimed in the direction and focused on the target it should have been on all along. That monster got really small and quiet as the love of my Heavenly Father became the biggest thing I have ever known. That anger, white hot and scorching is now cooled to the perfect temperature and will be forged as weapons. Love. Mercy. Forgiveness. Grace. Courage. You hear the jingling? These weapons, they will be used to help free others. Ever seen a girl equipped with love and redemption? We mean business. So yeah, I took a little time off from blogging, but don't count this girl out. My Father says I'm only getting started. "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen" Hebrews 11:1 ESV . I have faith.

Lord, I'm ready now.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things 

Empty Pockets

"The traveler with empty pockets will sing in the thief's face."- Juvenal

Sometimes, emptying the pockets of my children's clothing can be an adventure. I've found rocks, pine straw, bottle caps, race cars, peanuts, lip gloss, secret notes and even one, very dehydrated lizard. All of these small treasures (even the lizard) remind me that my children are healthy and thriving, doing "kid stuff" like pros. If they are collecting moments of joy in their pockets, I have no complaint! I have to smile and think of our Heavenly Father and how He loves when we are healthy and thriving, being Christ-like in how we approach our "human stuff". The times when we put His word in our pockets and keep reaching our hands back in to feel and hold them, rubbing the most liberating ones between our fingers. I wish that those were the only things I had in my pockets, but just like my own children, I had accumulated a few items that I couldn't quite part with. And ever so gently, ever so mercifully, God asked me to take them out and let Him look at them.

I didn't want to. Those were my things, things that didn't touch the light of day, let alone the light of God.

 You see, I had a pocket full of memories that I didn't dare take out. It was so much easier to just shove other things down in there until they were jammed in the bottom. Joys and blessings, nestled atop thorns and shards. The sharp objects seemed to always find their way to the top though,so that when I did reach down in there, I'd come back with an injury more often than I'd like to admit. I realized that although I have accepted Christ in my heart, although I know and believe there is only one, true God; I still held on to a belief that there were parts of me that God didn't want. So I kept those parts hidden and buried way down and not only did I accept the lie that Jesus couldn't or wouldn't want to heal them, I was foolish enough to believe that I could keep them. The Holy Spirit said, "Let me hear your story". God said, "Empty your pockets and lets take a look at these things. Together." Not now Father,  they hurt too much. Please anything, but that. Don't make me go back, I will be okay, I promise. My story felt like home to me. My story would be like a literal hell to anyone else. "Good", He said. "What better place to start?"

I had a decision to make. Would I continue to hide these things and let them injure me? Would He really be there to look at these things with me? Why now? Would He still love me? Yes, I became one of little faith over these things and that is when I realized that I wouldn't dare question God if He asked me to do something good and help someone else. I remembered God's promises. I remembered the person of Jesus Christ and how he delivered a demon possessed Mary Magdalene who became one of His most faithful disciples. I remembered the bleeding woman. The woman at the well. For the first time, I believed that God's promises were meant for me and that if He was asking me to do this, He had a reason. After much prayer and deliberation, I finally saw that He wanted me to speak His truth into the dead bones cluttering the graveyard of my past. My Father wanted me to go back to each place with Him and examine it. So, I poured my story out and as I did I noticed each shard reflect the lies that were attached to them. I spoke His truth over each one as I felt my Savior come closer and closer, offering His strength to move from one to the next. I understood why we must confess our sins before God, because sometimes those sins don't originate as our own. Sometimes they are sins others committed against us that we ingest and shackle ourselves to when we believe the lies attached to them. They become ours when we nurture a spirit of ambivalence, hopelessness and fear. They bind us to them and restrain us from truly knowing Jesus Christ. True shackles clasped upon us that start to feel so comfortable that we forget they are there. Until... Until someone tries to embrace us and then the shackles dig in and rub us raw, reminding us of how they got there to begin with, reminding us of how we have been bled out of trust and worthiness a long time before. We push the tender gesture away with a look of longing, rub a balm of protection on the wound and keep enough distance that the wound can scab over. Again.

Jesus Christ came to set me free. Too many times I turned Him away when He tried to tell me, "I can heal that too...". Too many times I turned my face away in shame and re-adjusted the shackles. This time, I reluctantly met His gaze. Looking into the face of mercy I said, "I am ready."

All this time of simply nursing the symptoms of pain has come to pass. I went to the source of the pain, I went deep into the locking mechanism and with the strength of God and The Kingdom of Heaven upon me, I was freed. Jesus wasn't willing to watch me lead others to him while I remained comfortable in the hell of my own past and I had to expose every painful memory to His light. In Heaven's wake, in each of those memories, I took that little girl and loved her until she knew that Joy is the truth. Hope is the truth and that she can believe in the Mightiest Protector and Redeemer that man has ever known. I went to that young woman and showed her that even when she felt condemned to a life of brokenness, God was preparing her for a life of purpose. His purpose.

And now, I rebuke every lie the enemy has ever told me and when he comes again to try to reopen the wounds, they won't be there. Jesus washed them clean in His mercy. The lies will fall like arrows without a point, missing their intended target every single time. I finally know that I am living from a place of victory, not hoping for it. I will sing a song of victory in the thief's face, I will proclaim God's redemption with every breath. And when I run out of breath, I will rest in knowing that those around me have heard the same songs and truths and that a legacy of hope will be passed down from me, not a legacy of shame. I thought I had to go to the source of the pain to heal and what I overlooked is that I needed to go to the source of all creation to heal; My One True God. He was always bigger than all of it and never again will I approach Him with small faith in His works. 

I admit this here and now, I knew that I had been delivered and had become a new creation in Christ, but because of my own inability to hope, I accepted this one, destructive thought; my insecurities were just a part of who I am and that I was destined to live with them forever. What kind of poppycock is that? Christ didn't hang on a cross in battered pieces and shreds so I could condemn myself to always feeling unworthy. He didn't want me to grab on to the end of his garments in hopes that He might not notice that I was hanging out trying to pick up the crumbs. Jesus Christ wants my heart, boldly. He wants me to know that He is the author of an ever challenging, ever elusive word for me. Hope. I guarded against it for far too long because of those lies I shackled myself to and when God met me at that last memory, I finally heard: 

 "For who is God, but the Lord? And who is a rock except our God? The God who equipped me with strength and made my way blameless, He made my feet like the feet of a deer and set me secure on the heights. He trains my hands for war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You have given me the shield of your salvation, and your right hand supported me, and your gentleness made me great. You gave me a wide place for my steps under me, and my feet did not slip. I pursued my enemies and overtook them, and did not turn back till they were consumed."Psalm 18:31-37.

God equipped me for hope from my first breath. Now, after my Savior has presented me blameless in front of my Father, my story will become a beacon and I am a vessel, willing to shine that light as far and as bright as HIS might. For the first time in my entire life, my pockets are empty of shame and my heart is full of hope. Father, I receive that these hind's feet are going high places. Thank you for it all. 

Oh, those shackles? This morning, with his arm wrapped around me in love and support, my best friend, the one person on Earth who looked at those shards with me, knelt at the altar with me and I laid those busted shackles down. For good. 

And God met me there.

"And we all with unveiled faces, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit" 
2 Corinthians 3:10 (ESV)

Divine Intervention

I knew this was going to be an odd week, but having an entire blog post *poof* was not even on my radar. My sincere apologies to my subscribers who may have stopped by to check out my new post, only to find a half-written draft or no post at all. My even more sincere apologies to anyone who was offended by either, everything I write is done with love. Immense love for those who haven't found the overflowing grace and mercy of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Truth-filled love for those who have, I hope.

Peace be with you. God's got this.


Love Does Not Delight In Evil

How To Breathe

I want a crazy, out of control love. A hot, pursuing, engulfing kind of love.

A reckless leap across a chasm into the unknown, a tailspin into bliss where the only place I can land is in HIS arms kind of love. 

I want this love for my Savior. God has it for me and the proof of that love hung on a cross in torn and hanging flesh, a crown of thorns upon His glorious head. In the beautiful and destroyed form of a man, love took its last breath and since then, we've all been gasping for it. 

I want to love Jesus in such an involuntary way that it comes as naturally as breathing. Maybe that's what Heaven is all about. Involuntary surrender to a love so incredibly cleansing and fulfilling, that you just take deep, measured breaths of the stuff and never get full of it. The people in your path, love. Instant love. The people in your peripheral, boom, love again. Never a reason not to, never a way out of it, not the first doubt about how or why. Every breath, a suspended moment of gratitude, greater than the one before. Can you imagine? No strife. No judgement. Not a word of condemnation uttered. Hard to even comprehend on an Earth so hell bent on getting it's own way. No pun intended. What we experience here is like struggling to breathe, drowning in "stuff" and just when you break the surface to catch a breath, someone else tries to push you back under. Most of the time they don't mean to, but they are so panicked over their own "stuff" that they don't even realize they are holding your head under. I already want to go back to that place up there, my chest feels heavy thinking about here. 

This is when I need that tailspin the most. When I feel like I can't breathe from the effort of trying to get my head above water. Right now, what I need most is that involuntary love that sends me headlong towards Jesus and the only thing I can do is crash into Him and hold on for dear life. Again, no pun intended. The real truth, the one I should rejoice in, is that I need that all of the time. I am really good at convincing myself that I've got this though. Pppsshhhaww, no big deal. This life stuff, it's a cake walk. Put our burdens on Jesus and just float along. You can and you will, so long as you don't wrench it back from Him and sure, you'll find me on my knees, praying for and about whatever thing I have convinced myself I need. You'll hear me flood praises on High for the countless blessings in my life. You'll see me serving and helping those around me, continually seeking the moment when I've got it just right. Some days, you can even find me teaching others to lean into Jesus with everything they've got and pouring words straight from the well of the Holy Spirit right into their lives. But where I struggle is in all of those in-betweens, that's when I want to love Him most and that is when it is the hardest. That's where I want to grow, I want to learn how to breathe again. I want to breathe Him. 

It is easy to adore Christ when you are doing the things He wants you to do. It's hard to gush and cherish Him when you have a puking kid, bills to pay and people unknowingly pushing your head back under their drowning point. And in the mundane, I fall asleep. I forget about mustard seeds and mountains, blind men and lepers. I forget to look for the myriad of miracles in the every day and therefore, forget to breathe the very life of the one who gave all for me. What's beautiful about this, what's amazing about Christ is that He loves me anyways. Right in the middle of my little mess, He's there beaming at me when all I can say is, "I suck" and mean it. He's there, piggy-backing me to the washing machine when I am sore at my kids and don't feel like messing with one more dirty sock. At night, while I am tearfully and silently lamenting the empty spot next to me, He is there wondering when His love will be enough, but tucking me in anyways, with a sweet prayer of mercy to our Father. Jesus sees me and doesn't see a single mom with messy kids, a car that's well past needing serviced and an account balance that would make most cringe. He sees me and its all love, it is all mercy. It is nothing short of Glorious. My Savior sees me serving when the most noble thing I have done all day is to remind my kids to brush their teeth. 

My mundane is God's miracle. My ordinary is His supernatural. My tedious, task-oriented day, is his harvest work. Let me see that, let me embrace that. Let me guard my heart and all that flows from it with this one, gentle reminder; Grace is my portion. Mercy is my portion. Love is pursuing me, consuming me, jealous for me and engulfing me right now. Jesus Christ bought and secured my future and there's no devil in hell that will keep me from it. Okay, so maybe not so gentle, but with the authority of Christ in me, I choose God's promises. I choose reckless love, wild love and to recognize the extraordinary in the ordinary. I choose this life, running in all abandon towards Christ. And you know what? He calls me chosen. God sees me and in spite of myself, he says I'm precious, adored, treasured and refuses to let me settle for anything short of that. So yeah, I am going to love this life, voluntarily, until the day God calls me home and I take that first fulfilling breath of victory, In Jesus.

Hallelujah.

The greatest of these, is love. 

Slaying Dragons With Love

Memories haunt us, they are the real ghosts of the past. Why fear haints and phantoms when memories can hurt you more than any specter? The echoes of things we can never go back to, the flashes of times we want to forget. One of my most painful memories to date is a small one, yet it can steal my breath and whisper words of defeat into my heart. Me, 10 years old, chubby, scabby-kneed and strong-willed, sitting on the curb and completely determined that my Dad was going to love me enough this time to pick me up like he'd promised to. If he comes this time he DOES love me. Seconds turned into minutes, minutes into hours. My Mom, pacing anxiously in the living room; every so often I would see her peeking out at me with that look on her face. The look that knew he wasn't coming and that she'd suffer because of it. The look that knew I was going to take it all out on her because my 10 year old mind didn't know how to direct anger, rejection and humiliation. She was always the one who took the brunt of it, never him. Never the one who deserved it. The fear of doing anything that would keep him from coming back at all was too great and when you go begging for any little scrap of love, any little leftover thing, you try to be just right and just lovable enough. Don't be bad, don't say anything that will make him go away again. I didn't care if I hurt her, deep in my heart I knew she would cry about it; shedding tears of defeat herself. He defeated both of us, left her alone and broken to raise a little girl who would break a million times over in the wake. Everyone I love leaves me. We were in it together, my mom and I. I hated her for it. He isn't coming because of her. I blamed her because I didn't know any better. Sometimes, she hated me too and she would tell me so. She doesn't love me either, I'm NOT lovable. That night in particular, this memory in particular, reveals something I hadn't considered in all of my adult years. My mama loved me just like Jesus asks us to love one another. When it was not easy. Even through the ugly words and emotions, she loved me. When I wanted to hide away with my wounds of shame and anger, she loved me. I'm so ugly. NOBODY wants me. She loved me when I was unlovable and even in all of her broken ways, she wore my pain, she took my lashes of misdirected hurt. Let me love like she did. Let me love like Jesus does.

I spoke of wounds in my previous post, but very superficially. I've yet to see any uglier wounds than those children inflict upon themselves when the most important man in their life on Earth tosses them aside with little regard. The worst part about them? They fester. They grow. They destroy. They have the ability to infect. Show me a fatherless child and I will show you exactly where the wound is. It is a huge gaping hole in the marrow of their being. It burns and sizzles at the sound of father/daughter dances or Donuts for Dads. I will be sick that day. It throbs with pain at the sight of Father's Day cards or an empty mailbox on their birthday. He forgot again. It splits wide open during the times they need a strong shoulder to cry on and the reassurance that they are beautiful and loved. Even God forgot about me, I'm so alone. Over time they learn to exist with the pain, but they don't really live. My daughter is now one of those kids. Yes, you read that right. And the legacy of pain stops now. The devil, that delirious dragon, has lost his stronghold in my family tree.  

Yesterday, my beautiful and so vulnerable 15 year old posted something on Facebook that made my heart stop. 15 Things All Dads Of Daughters Should Know. Before clicking the link, I took a deep breath and said a small prayer. What I read re-opened a wound, but this cut so much deeper because I never wanted to infect my daughter with this. Father, forgive me. How do I heal her, this most precious gift I have ever received in the form of a girl? What do I do?  Let me love you like Jesus does, my sweet girl. Allow me to share with you what your Heavenly Father wants you to know, what He promises you. Let's heal together, baby girl. You and me. 

You Are Always Loved

Even when you don't love yourself, the choices you've made, the mistakes you've made or the ways you feel about certain people, God loves you right now. In the middle of any mess you might make, He loves you right where you are. Flat on your face. Hiding in shame. Broken by the world. He LOVES you when you can't find love for anything or anyone else. No. Matter. What. Turn to God, keep your eyes locked with our Savior Jesus' and you'll feel it. There's not a man walking the planet that can love you like this, poets and writers, movies and songs; they will never touch this kind of love. Don't try to replace it, embrace it. 

You Will Always Have The People You Need

Every person in your life is there for a reason. Whether it is to grow you, stretch you, test you, knock you down, lift you up or all things in between, God is Sovereign. There are no coincidences, Every moment of your life is already written in His book of your life. Listen when it doesn't feel right, don't ignore discomfort in the presence of anyone, it is His way of growing you strong enough to turn away from those the devil will use to hurt you and shake your faith. He will bring you the help, guidance, support and encouragement you so desperately want in many forms, in many different people. Trust Him. 

Listen To The Songs He Sings Over You

The music you connect with, it has a lot to do with the things you're dealing with and can be a very healthy outlet. Sometimes it can keep you stuck on a moment or in a feeling that God wants you to let go of. No matter what, give yourself the gift of listening to a song that sings of His love for you. I don't care if it isn't the "cool" thing to do, I don't care if you would rather be a wallflower at your own pity party, find a song or a hymn that will reconnect you to Him and play it loud. On repeat. And if appropriate, sing it out loud. Raise your arms to him and listen. God will always meet you in worship, He will always lift you from the darkness of a memory if you'll just listen to the songs He sings over you. Just find a way, and if you can't; make one.

Observe How He Treats Your Mom

Our Heavenly father is the provider of all of our needs; this is especially important to understand in a world that is bent on twisting your morals and values and will sell you out on hollow promises. Especially important if you're from a broken home and your earthly father isn't in the picture to set the standard of how a woman should be treated and valued. Your value, in God's eyes, is beyond measure. Sometimes it will be difficult to feel love, to feel worthy of love or that God has any love for you. I'm here to tell you; He ALWAYS loves you. More than I and that's hard. Don't spend too much time trying on who you are sweet girl. Find your identity as a child of a Sovereign God; as chosen and worthy by our Savior. Too many people will try to bend you too their ideals, learn who you are in God's promises and if you find that you can't believe in that; remember what God has done in me. Think about how powerfully Christ transformed my life and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the same overflowing love and joy is always available to you. See how He loves and values me and let Him do the same to you.

You Can Always Come Home

I won't even pretend to know what God has in store for you, but I will be so bold as to say this, He is going to use you in great and mighty ways. Your strengths and gifts, which are uniquely yours, will be a blessing to all who encounter you. This will make you a target, sometimes people will want to throw a shadow over that radiant light and you will face storms but do not lose heart. Even if you lose your way momentarily, look for light in even the smallest of ways. Equip yourself with scripture, put on the full Armor of God and be prepared to fight negativity, small minds and ulterior motives. Jesus is always a breath away, just say His Holy name and let Him guide you back home. He won't let you get too far, simply because I will ALWAYS cover you with prayer, its the strongest weapon I've ever encountered and don't think I will ever leave you wide open in this world. Not for a second.

Exercise Your Faith Muscles

Some days, you will feel really worn down and spread thin by this world. I've found that the more tired/hungry/hormonal I am, the worse everything feels. As a woman, we are emotional beings and our hormones can wreak some real havoc on our thoughts, bodies and even our prayer/worship time. Take care of your body, exercise it and nourish it and your mind won't seem so weak. If you truly can't find the energy or motivation, pray. God can really show his Grace and Mercy during these times and He loves when you come to Him in prayer asking for strength. Sometimes, its all I can do to whisper, "Jesus, I need you", but He has never let me down. He won't let you down either. Rest when you feel overwhelmed and hand your worries to Jesus, He will carry them for you when you feel your knees starting to buckle, our Savior is the ultimate gentleman and your faith will grown substantially when you learn this. Learn to take care of yourself and give the Glory to God that you have all you need to do so!

Count Your Blessings, Daily

Keep a journal, or simple reminders of the ways God has blessed you so far. Take time every day to look at the ways He has carried your through or delivered you untouched from a storm. Think of the small victories in your daily life and give the credit where it is due! This will keep you in touch with how much Jesus loves you, how our Father goes before you to give you tokens of His unconditional love. This will serve as a helpful tool during the times when you can't find a good thing to say or think. Don't believe in coincidences, believe that God always connects the dots and when those dots lead His precious daughter to a blessing, all of Heaven rejoices.

Humble Your Heart

As a beautiful, intelligent and gifted young woman, you will encounter rivalry and contention. You will seem like a threat to the insecure. Don't ever use these gifts to make anyone else feel poorly about themselves. Learn to let your beauty shine from the inside, humble your heart before God and thank Him for who you are. Never boast that you have anything better to offer than anyone else and don't ever turn your back on anyone because of how they look or because they act differently than what the world considers "normal". Jesus came to heal the sick, the sinners. It is not our responsibility to shame anyone, we are called to be a reflection of Him, don't mistake that as being anything other than a servant. And always serve with love. Please, don't ever believe that you are owed anything by anyone, rather believe in the loving Savior of Jesus Christ who secured our place in God's Kingdom. This world isn't going to spin off it's axis because of you, but you will rock the world because of Christ in you.

He's Always There

Live your life like Jesus is always in the room with you. Because He is. No matter what kind of performance you put on, there is always God; audience of one. Bring Him the applause.


The Greatest of These, Is Love

You can't do anything to escape it. You cannot find a human being who will show it to you the way your Father will. You'll try. You will look at someone someday and think, "it can't get any better than this". It does. God wants you to know His love, your Father wants to show you just how much love you deserve and He is jealous, He is all consuming and He wants to come first in your heart. Trust in Him, my girl. Trust that His love is the greatest thing you will ever experience and nothing can or ever will get any better than it. Listen for His voice, let Him sing over you, let Him be your shelter. I won't always be here, but I promise you this; He will. Read your Bible. You won't find any lists or bulleted articles about how to live, but you will find everything you thought you were missing. You'll discover the Truth. The Way. The Life.

I love you, Maddy Cakes.


Love Never Ends